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from March 2008

That was the clear, bold message that was sent out by Stonewall in February in a nationwide billboard campaign: six hundred billboard panels depicted this message in giant, tabloid-style capital letters, on a bright red background at sites in England, Scotland and Wales. The uncompromising statement and powerful design were developed in collaboration with 150 secondary school pupils and teachers for Stonewall. They were originally launched by Doctor Who and Torchwood star John Barrowman as part of Stonewall’s ‘Education for All’ campaign to tackle homophobic bullying in schools. Ben Summerskill, Stonewall Chief Executive, says: ‘Homophobia is almost endemic in our schools and blights the lives of people throughout society. It makes sense that this zero-tolerance message should be extended to the wider public. Across urban and rural Britain, this plain-speaking slogan will remind people that discrimination against gay men and lesbians is no longer acceptable.’

I applaud such a powerful campaign that tackles homophobia in such a direct way. Some people are gay, get over it! However, it also made me think about how we in the lgb community see ourselves and whether we need to ‘Get over it’ too? I visited a large city last weekend to promote an event we’re organising there. The purpose of the visit was to distribute flyers in the many gay pubs and clubs of that city and generally spread the word about our event. What struck me towards the end of the evening was how alienating I found many of the venues we visited to be. It seemed that although there were quite a few bars to choose from, all of them, except one seemed to be playing similar music (high-energy dance), were tacky in décor and were not the most inviting establishments to go in for a drink and a chat. It didn’t matter whether you were a gay male or female couple, group of single gay mates on the pull, wanting a quiet drink with friends - we were all lumped together in the same bars without any variety to choose from. A heterosexual person may choose to enjoy a relaxing pint in their local pub one night and then perhaps enjoy a cocktail or two in a classy, city centre wine bar on a Saturday night. Another straight couple may like the 70s night at a nearby disco most weekends, but on Wednesdays; enjoy the pint and a curry offer in the big chain pub on the high street. The point I’m trying to make is: why do we frequent bars and clubs where the only thing we have in common with the other customers is our sexuality? I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting to be able to be myself anywhere and go to any pub, club, café, restaurant of my choosing because I like the place. I worry that sometimes by being so separate from the straight community, by keeping to gay venues with the aim of protecting ourselves from homophobic abuse, we only reinforce our differences and the stereotypes that we are trying to get away from. Is the fear of how others would react to our sexual orientation preventing us from having the freedom to choose where we socialise? And is that fear greater than the reality? How do we change society if we keep ourselves hidden? Wouldn’t it be better if all social venues were gay friendly, totally accepting and non-exclusive? But by making ourselves more visible, we may increase the risk of homophobic attacks, prejudice and abuse.

The exclusivity and superior messages promoted by certain religious groups can incite prejudice, violence and abuse of some on the outside of their fixed ideas and beliefs. From Stonewall banners and Pride marches to simply holding hands with your same-sex partner in the street all contribute to increasing our visibility and encouraging inclusion and combating hatred. Some people are gay, get over it. Some people are straight, get over it. Some people like the music of Neil Sedaka, get over it! The bottom line is we’re all different, unique and special individuals with great gifts and qualities that we can share with others if we feel welcome and included. From schools to workplaces to our community in general, let’s work together to be inclusive and welcoming of all and see our differences as something to celebrate not destroy.

Belinda O’Hooley