comment
from April 2006

A friend of mine was bitching about the new sauna that's opening near to Mission. He was pleased that it's going to be a lovely spanking (?) new building and a lot easier to get to but was unsure about being seen using it.

Now this is the same friend who took Polaroids of himself with one of those orange and white striped traffic cones inserted into - you know where... and then proceeded to show anyone and everyone. (The poor girl on the mac counter in Harvey Nicks turned pale orange!) This is the same guy whose Gaydar profile is called something like ‘Cumdump’. You get the picture.

Recently those lovely boys from MESVAC offered to give me a prick and, you know me, I was more than happy to attend. What they didn't tell me was that whilst I was waiting for my (free, painless and VERY IMPORTANT) hepatitis vaccine there would be a questionnaire to fill out, usual stuff - are you gay/straight/bi/straight-but-like-cock-when-you're-pissed that sorta thing. Of course one of the questions was how many men have you shagged in the last six months/year/lifetime. This always makes me stop and think, partly 'cos working out my number would put even Carol Vorderman’s mathematical skills to the test, and partly because I'm slightly embarrassed about having been so active. It's not that I'm a slut, it's just that I was brought up to believe it's wrong to say ‘no’. Besides how can you ‘just say no’ when your mouth’s already full?

Well, it all got me thinking: why are we so publicly ashamed of our sex lives? As men our instinct is to go out and dip our wicks as much as possible. (I've been told about lesbian sex but somehow get a mental block... Lesbian cottages???) I know that the HIV/AIDS education of the 80s and 90s all seemed to lay blame at our door but now that we all know about condoms, (and use them, right?) and how to play responsibly and safely why are we still so bashful?

I think it's time to put the sex back into homosexual and the ahh back into lezza. If ya want me I'll be on my knees at the Meat Rack or in Downtown.

Anna Glypta

Anna Glypta can be found spinning discs at The New Penny.